First of all, yes I’m gay and I guess this is me coming out to the world. I’ve known my entire life and I was scared to admit it to not only myself, but also my family. I finally came to terms with who I am my sophomore year of high school. My freshman year, I cried myself to sleep most nights because I was scared of being myself. I grew up in church, knowing that being gay was going against god’s word. And just because I’ve accepted myself now, that doesn’t mean that I’ve disregarded God in any way. I love God and I know he loves me. Society has painted this picture of the LGBTQ community as being the ultimate rebels against God. But why is my “sin” greater than yours or anyone else’s? Just know that I’m the same person you’ve always known I’m just being completely honest with you now. However, I know a lot of you aren’t going to like reading this and are going to try and tell me how to go about my life. But, this is my life. And I’m not ashamed of who I am or who I love. So either deal with it or don’t.
Then Calysta came into the picture. Most of you all know who she is because she’s on my Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter. She’s the reason that I’ve finally come to terms with who I am. No words can describe her significance in my life. And before all you close-minded people think that I started dating her because I’m going through a mid-life crisis or whatever, we were dating long before my brother passed away. Unfortunately, my brother never got to meet Calysta. However, he would’ve loved her. I first told my sister about her. My sister was supportive and really wasn’t phased. My grandma wasn’t surprised at all, she was supportive and loving. My brother was excited for me. He continually asked about her over the phone and was genuinely excited to meet her. Due to him being a workaholic and never having time, they never got to meet. And that pains me so so much.
Calysta is a beautiful soul. She’s loving and caring and honestly is the most beautiful person inside and out. In those aspects, I see Gabriel in her. She lives life to it’s fullest like him and loves just as much as he did. I could go on and on about her. I wish you could all know her like I know her. I know her greatest pains and her greatest joys and everything in-between. She is everything that I’m not and that’s why we work so well together. She’s the first person I called after I got the call that my brother died. She’s been there every step of the way with me through the worst weeks of my entire life. And she brings me so much joy and fills my angry heart with love. She’s been so patient with me and my grief. My grief is a roller-coaster. I’ll have my good days and the next day I’ll be absolutely terrible. And she sticks it out. God blessed me with the perfect person to help me deal with my loss. Her heart is full of love and joy. This barely scratches the surface of who she is. She’s just so absolutely beautiful and I want the world to know. I want the world to meet the wonderful young woman that’s not only my best friend, but my girlfriend. And she’s going to be around for the rest of my life. Her name is Calysta Rodriguez and I am so so deeply in love with her.